


Kamukura Project

by 96percentdone (Nakanaide)



Series: Kamukura Izuru vs The World [1]
Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types, Super Dangan Ronpa 2
Genre: Alternate Universe, Gen, HikiNEET!Kamukura, Hinata and Kamukura are brothers, Izuru Has Emotions, and anyone who says otherwise can fight me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-11
Updated: 2015-09-11
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:54:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,456
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4767437
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nakanaide/pseuds/96percentdone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"Just when Kamukura started writing an essay explaining how communists came to power to an ignorant fool in the YouTube comments section for a Minecraft let’s play, the unthinkable happened."</p><p>Kamukura Izuru hasn't left the house in over two years, and he certainly doesn't plan on leaving now. However, life has different plans for him. </p><p>Takes place in an AU where Kamukura and Hinata are brothers, and Kamukura is a recluse.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Kamukura Project

_Date: June eighth, 2014_

_Boring… the same boring shit every day…._ Kamukura thinks to himself, muttering complaints about the unintelligent nonsense he always finds on @channel. Ironic, because he still goes on it every day for several hours. Not that it will stop him from complaining, or trolling for that matter.

Yes, Kamukura Izuru is a reclusive internet troll.

Out of nowhere, a voice calls from behind him. “Okay, I know it’s been like three years, but could you at least _consider_ doing something besides pissing off strangers online?” Hinata asks, standing in front of his brother’s room.

Kamukura doesn’t answer; he’s too focused on spamming the textboard, and Hinata already knows the answer.

“I’ll take that as a no,” Hinata sighs. “Anyway, I’m about to head out. I’m going to be busy, so I’m not going to be able to run errands for you today. If you need something, you’re on your own until I get back, okay?”

Kamukura grunts in vague acknowledgement, waiting for Hinata to leave.

“Alright, I’m off,” Hinata says, walking away from Kamukura’s room. A few moments later, Kamukura heard the front door open and then shut.

“Finally. Some peace and quiet.” _Now I can actually focus._ Apparently, peace and quiet is a 100% necessary for posting _“ur waifu is shit”_ and watching the chaos unfold.

The hours pass by quickly, filled with many accomplishments, such as rickrolling, upsetting many otaku, making scathing reviews of b-movies, and disconfirming the Illuminati. It’s been a great day. However, the good can’t last forever. Just when Kamukura started writing an essay explaining how communists came to power to an ignorant fool in the YouTube comments section for a Minecraft let’s play, the unthinkable happened.

Kamukura accidentally knocked over his glass of water, onto his keyboard. Everything for Kamukura in that moment proceeded in slow-motion; the glass crashing into the keyboard, water flying everywhere splattering across all the keys, sinking between the cracks. _Oh shit,_ he thought, as the tragic death scene of his keyboard unfolded.

Immediately, he figured out is his keyboard is permanently ruined. Consequently, he’s unable to order a replacement via the internet as he can’t type. _Damn I wish I had enabled voice control for this. Note to self: program that later._ As such, he needed a back up plan. That plan is consistently get Hinata to run Kamukura’s errands.

 _Text to: Errand Boy_  
_Subject: Keyboard_  
_Spilled water all over my keyboard. Need a replacement._

Five minutes later, no response. _Strange, he’s not usually this slow._

After a couple more texting attempts, Kamukura decided to call him. The phone rings for a while, before:

_Hey, it’s Hinata, if you’re hearing this, it means I’m unavailable, so please leave a message, and I’ll get back to you as soon as possible. Or, at least I’ll try to. Thanks. Also if it’s—Izuru, I told you I was busy today, and you’re on your own until I get back. Pay more attention._

_At the tone—_

Kamukura groaned and hung up. He hated when this happened. _He didn’t mention anything about being busy earlier,_ not even acknowledging the truth that he wasn’t paying attention. _I guess I’m waiting until he gets back._

* * *

_Ugh why is it so hot._ Kamukura thinks to himself while grudgingly walking to the electronics store. After about five minutes of waiting, Kamukura had decided that he just couldn’t wait that long without internet. There are only so many good phone games to occupy yourself with, and even if Hinata came back in three seconds, he probably wouldn’t know what exactly to get. Kamukura was _very_ picky about his technology.

Kamukura ducked and weaved throughout the crowded streets, _I hope that no one touches me; I don’t want to deal with that. Especially not that one,_ veering as far away as possible from the guy carrying hamsters in his scarf. _Did the world just get infinitely weirder in my absence or is today just an odd day?_

To the left, there was a girl with horns made of hair jamming out on an electric guitar. _Please don’t._ The crowd around her was quickly growing, either from amazement or confusion, and Kamukura quickly realised that he needs to get away from this park immediately. Unfortunately, he ended up trapped behind a slow moving girl. _What is she even doing—is that a Vita? Are you really playing games while walking? Ugh, I’m never going to get anywhere._

While on his journey, he found stranger and even stranger people. A nurse who fell in the most inconvenient of ways, a tiny girl clinging to a photographer, some poor foreigner getting hit on by a short guy with a pompadour, two people sparring in an alley, and one extremely angry child being forcibly restrained by who Kamukura assumed to be his caretaker.

 _It’s official. I am in hell. The outside world collapsed into chaos in my absence, and now our dimension and Hell coexist as one._ And while Kamukura continued his endless complaints about the outside world, he failed to notice that walking the opposite direction of him was a boy trying to balance too many things in his hands. This could only spell for one thing—

_This is ridiculous; I should’ve stayed—_

Disaster.

Before he could even _think_ the word home, Kamukura crashed spectacularly into the white haired stranger, and all their books and snacks went flying, while the two of them hit the sidewalk. It was such a magnificent crash that the falling nurse from earlier would be impressed, and also grateful she wasn’t involved. People on the street stopped and turned to gawk at that fantastic catastrophe.

It was humiliating, absolutely humiliating. It was the kind of thing you would only expect to see in a generic shoujo manga, and yet it was Kamukura’s real life. _What the hell is this; see this is why I never go outside, because things like this happen—_

“I’m sorry; I didn’t mean to crash into you, and oh I’ve made such a huge mess…” The strange pale stranger continued rambling, calling Kamukura’s attention back to reality. _Oh yeah. This happened._ Kamukura cut the stranger off by beginning to recollect all the scattered belongings.

“It’s fine.” He replied, dismissing the other in the hopes of shutting him up.

“You really don’t have to help me with this—” the stranger restarted but quickly backed down when he noticed the other was glaring.

 _Good. Stay quiet,_ and he enjoyed a few seconds of silence while they picked up scattered items before the stranger started prattling on again. _Why. Why me. Why this._ Luckily, the amount of stuff spread across the sidewalk can’t be endless, so after a minute or so the mess is completely cleaned up.

The green clad stranger starts “Thank you very much for your help, uh—”

“Kamukura.”

“Ah, well once again, thank you Kamukura-san.” but it was in vain, as Kamukura had already restarted his trek to the electronics store.

_I am never going outside ever again._

* * *

  _Date: June ninth, 2014_

It’s only been a day, and Kamukura has put his brand new keyboard to good use. He was able to continue his work in the fine art of trolling. (He also managed to make his computer capable of voice control, but that’s not nearly as impressive).

“I’m home!” Hinata calls out upon returning from school, knowing full well he won’t be getting a response. Kamukura just nods to himself in acknowledgement; he was too preoccupied with trashing the latest popular anime to do much else.

Hinata stops in front of Kamukura’s room. “Also, I tried to tell you this, but you weren’t responding to texts or answering your phone, or anything really, but I brought Komaeda over,” Hinata explains.

Kamukura keeps nodding, waiting for Hinata to walk off with whoever it was. It was rare to have guests these days, but it didn’t affect Kamukura much. At least, that’s what Kamukura decided just now, when suddenly a familiar voice rings out.

“Kamukura-san?” They ask, and Kamukura stops what he’s doing with dread. _Oh god._ Kamukura turns around and his worst fears have come true; the white haired boy he crashed into the other day was in his house. _You mean to tell me, that this marshmallow, airheaded windbag is the same Komaeda I have been hearing you go on and on about for at least two years?_

“Wait, you know him?” Hinata asks, incredulous, because how could anyone he knows have met his reclusive brother? They moved here around the time Kamukura stopped leaving the house.

Komaeda starts, “well, not really. I only really met him the other day, you see…” and as Komaeda continues, Kamukura sighs heavily. _This is going to suck._

 

**Author's Note:**

> I am a shitty memer, and I apologise.


End file.
